Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
