Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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