dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
