HIV tests are more positive than that guy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
