the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
