Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
