It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
