I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
