Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
