After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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