May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
