I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize