before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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