Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
