epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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