why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
