no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So vagazzling was a success
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
