i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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