she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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