I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
4 words: hood of his car
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Shame - the story of my life.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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