Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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