I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
