Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
