airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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