I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
