I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
