So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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