I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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