"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
