You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
