Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
