Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
