I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
