I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The air was thick with penises
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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