We won't sleep together?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize