She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
