whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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