Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
