oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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