Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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