I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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