he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
