worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
