An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
