Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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