He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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