So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize