I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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