woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
