i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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