They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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