Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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