my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize