Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
