he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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