Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
