you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
