He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
