im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
