She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
