She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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