Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
