How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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