just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
