When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
