Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im having a threesome with these popsicles
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
