Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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