Kiss
Puke
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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