Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
