I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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