i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
