i would punch a child for taco bell
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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