PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize