make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
