I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
