just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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