physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
