I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
