At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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