Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
