We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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