so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
