Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
