I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
